Week 3 Story: The Exile of Perseus
Perseus had just gotten off the bus, a sophomore at Westlake High, and was walking towards his house. His friend shouted at him from the bus window, but Perseus had other things on his mind. His father was a believer in polygamous relationships, and his third wife had recently moved into their home. Perseus wasn't very fond of her, though he did like her son, Jason, who had moved in with her and was about the same age as Perseus. He got to the door and hesitated, not knowing what he should expect on the other side. Finally he opened the door and found his father looking rather distressed on the couch.
"What's wrong dad?", Perseus asked.
"Son, we need to talk."
"What is it?"
"Well, a long time ago, Jason's mother did something very kind for me, so I in turn gave her an IOU...."
Perseus was confused at his dad's struggle to get to the point. "And?"
"Well, she decided to cash it in today."
Perseus sat in silence, annoyed at the constant need for further questioning and sure that his dad would eventually get there on his own.
After a long pause, Perseus' dad said, "You have to move into the woods behind the house."
Perseus began to laugh, sure his dad was joking with him. "Seriously, the woods?"
But his dad wasn't smiling. "I know you were going to move your stuff into the larger bedroom upstairs son, but now Jason will move into that room, and you have to go live in the woods...."
"So because Jason's mom got an IOU, I have to live in the woods? Don't you care at all or have any say in this?"
"I wish I did Perseus, but an IOU is basically law. There's no way I could possibly take that back. Although it hurts me deeply, I need you to leave for the woods right now."
Pissed off for obvious reasons, Perseus stormed out the back door and headed for the woods, still sure that this was some kind of stupid joke and that his Dad would return from lunacy.
Image of Dasharatha and Rama
Author's Note:
For my story this week, I chose to write a more modern twist on the banishment and exile of Rama. In this story, Perseus is in the role of Rama, and Perseus' father is in the role of Dasharatha. In the epic, Rama is banished by Dasharatha because Dasharatha owes one of his wives a favor as she saved his life. Upon reading this story, it seemed quite ridiculous to me that Dasharatha would banish his own sons to the woods for 14 years because his wife asked him to, so I thought I would give a more modern example to exaggerate the ridiculousness of it. The original short story which this is based on, found in the public domain version of the Ramayana and titled Rama is Banished, can be found here.
Hi Dylan! I liked your story's adaptation to Greek mythology. Specifically, I liked the focus on the IOU, and how you highlight the avoidable nature of the situation that Perseus's dad has put them both in. I like the parody of the Ramayana and how you have shown how ridiculous it is to banish your son due to a random promise. Why did Perseus have a moment of hesitation before opening the door? Since you related the story to Greek myth, it would be interesting to see if there is a way to add in some sort of reason besides uncertainty for Perseus to stall - maybe a premonition or something from one of the Greek gods, or a symbol on his door on on the bus. It would also be interesting if Perseus could take his brother and girlfriend to the forest with him, to make it even more closely tied to the Ramayana.
ReplyDeleteHello! I really enjoyed your retelling! I like how you were able to make such a strange story into something more modern. I followed your version a lot easier than the original! Your story also showed how ludicrous the original really is, which I personally appreciated. It just got weirder and weirder as it went, but instead of feeling like the writing was off, it flowed well and was naturally satirical by the end.
ReplyDeleteDid you consider changing the ending? If you were to re-write this, you could end with the dad saying something along the lines of, "Oh, wait, that is pretty crazy. Forget that." I still like your ending though because it keeps the flow of ridiculous things happening in a modern setting.
One suggestion would be to add in more emotional detail from the dad. In your story, he didn't sound particularly torn to be sending his son into the woods. Then again, that could just be a character decision you make so it's good either way!
Great job!